Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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