Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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