My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
