This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
