My brain says no but my pants say off.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
