I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
