I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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