I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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