I love black thongs
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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