Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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