Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
