Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
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