THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
