I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
