Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
