oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
