you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
