Umm I'm too high to move.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
