I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
