I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize