i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize