I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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