When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
