when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
