Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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