Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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