We're facebook friends in real life
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize