oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
