So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
