so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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