in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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