He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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