He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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