I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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