How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
