Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
