we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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