So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
