Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize