The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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