got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
