i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
