This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
