I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
