this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
