just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
