Non-Jews are for practice
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm just crazy horny about you
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
