Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
