I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
