This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
