i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
