I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
we should paint friendship bongs
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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