That's when you crack a 10am beer
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
