im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
