They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
