We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
