I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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