bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
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