That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
