You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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