Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Why did my mother make you get naked?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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