Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
