it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
