My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He better not be in your backpack
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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