she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
